Skip to main content

I'm not Dr. Spock.

Thought you'd enjoy at least one story about CAMINATOR!

off we trot to Kmart all three of us.

School supplies and two gallons of milk, later, we are marching toward Georgia, or at least the cashier with the spoils of war.....

When wait? What is that wafting on the breeze? Donuts? And where is Cami?

Like a leming to the sea, that Cami, steadfastly heading to the bakery with no thought of my barking at her. Wait, is she stopping? No, she's slowing down to gaze at the Barbie aisle. It's pink, it's mezmerizing, she's helpless.

When I finally found her, she's got an armful of those dreadful BRATZ dolls and is looking at me angelically.

No. No and no. Absolutely not. You wandered off, wouldn't come back, and those are dreadful dolls and no. You ain't gettin' them.

When, Linda Blair move the hell over, it's Cami-time.

Faster than you can blink she turns mutinous. Drops to the floor, rolls around. I laugh. She kicks me in the shin. I stop laughing. She shouts, "you ain't the boss of me" doing the chicken neck and flinging her pint sized 'do all around.

I pluck her pink clad azz up, stand up, smile at the crowd gathered, LEAVE the area. Go to Customer Service, hand over my cart and my visa, and bear the screaming wenchlet out to the car with Katie and Ian following at a respectful, if fearful distance. Not fearful of me, but Cami was spitting at everything she could reach. (I had to wash my hair)

By the time I get her strapped in, here comes the store manager, father of 3 himself. He has me sign, helps me unload the supplies and wishes me God speed.

HAH!

Little bugger. She doesn't know what I've been through. I will ground her azz to her room so hard, she'll need dirt and water to grow.

Comments

CrackerLilo said…
At least the store manager got it.

And good on you for holding the line!!!

Popular posts from this blog

  Well, THAT was humbling. I adore it when the Lord puts me in my place. Really.  Like my favorite thing EVER. Because, you know, I just never stray very far from how I know He wants me to act and be.  Right. When the Lord puts me in line, it's more of an "attitude adjustment" along the lines of Extreme Makeover Edition.  I'll be karping along, muttering sullenly and sacrastically about this, that or the other and.... WHOOPS.... **************************************************** The Almighty gifts me with a hard smack right across the back of the head. Yes.  I remember when, a long time ago, I likened wanting to be in the will of God so feverently that I would pray that God would just pick me up if I was on the wrong path, like an errant turtle, put me on the right way and if necessary, place me on my back so the only direction I could look was up to heaven.  Turtle on it's back.  Yes indeed, Lord.  Flip me like a tutle on it's back. I...

Now, how did THIS happen?

I've been repeatedly pestered by folks to start a blog. A what? A Blog?! What the heck? (this portrays my helplessly antiquated notions of technology, I thought blog was initially a made up word. Like fax. Yes, I'm hanging my head in shame) So, here I am, having navigated the inital waters of cyberspace. My life is remarkable, and unremarkable all at the same time. What with children, a husband, a demon beast of a dog, and a burgeoning academic professorship, I've got ALOT on my plate. And plenty of "front lines" to speak from. My basic philosophy, borrowed from someone much cleverer than I, is "If you can't be a inspiring example, be a terrible warning". I've been both, I'm afraid. And, so, perhaps have you.

You may just want to skip this one.

I've never written a "Dear John" letter before. Mainly, because I never dated a John. I dated a Jon, I think. A "Jeff" was in there, too, I believe and a "Mike". But, never a John. And this isn't written to a person, but to a group of individuals, who shall, to my best ability remain anonymous. They deserve anonymity, not for their protection, but because I would rather cut off my fingers than direct anyone else to this organization, of which I was once so proud. So be it. Dear "board", You are a thief. You stole my time, my talent and my heart. You wasted my time, prostituted my talent and broke my heart. You inspired me to corrupt my values, and gave me a chance to settle for incredibly less than I was worth. Your standard in what consitutes "funny" and "clever" and "witty" is among the cheapest in the industry. And, I certainly bought into it for a time. No more. No longer. It's not funny, an...