People are basically kind.

 Well, THAT was humbling.

I adore it when the Lord puts me in my place. Really.  Like my favorite thing EVER. Because, you know, I just never stray very far from how I know He wants me to act and be.  Right.

When the Lord puts me in line, it's more of an "attitude adjustment" along the lines of Extreme Makeover Edition.  I'll be karping along, muttering sullenly and sacrastically about this, that or the other and....

WHOOPS....

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The Almighty gifts me with a hard smack right across the back of the head.

Yes.  I remember when, a long time ago, I likened wanting to be in the will of God so feverently that I would pray that God would just pick me up if I was on the wrong path, like an errant turtle, put me on the right way and if necessary, place me on my back so the only direction I could look was up to heaven. 

Turtle on it's back.  Yes indeed, Lord.  Flip me like a tutle on it's back. I shall be Your Holy Tortoise.

I'm older now, and slower.  More like a turtle than I can to admit.  And I bite.  It's unattractive, but there you have it.

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And I can firmly, and with all my heart attest to the fact that when the Almighty picks you up for an attitude adjustment and flips you on your back to redirect your attention, there are several, SEVERAL moments of thinking...."HEEEEYYYY!!  YOU!!  King of the World, Mighty Conquerer, Prince of Peace...yada, yada.  PUT ME THE HECK DOWN!"  There is also flailing and snapping.  Most undignified.

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And so it was in this flailing, snapping and undignified state that I found myself last night.  I was chosen (HAH! THAT should have been my first clue) CHOSEN to teach a group of women a Public Speaking class.  Special class.  They are a group of Jewish Orthodox Women who work in preschool childhood education.  About my age, some are a little older and some a little younger.  I was warned:  they are inflexible, they observe holidays "that no one has ever heard of" and they are technologically disabled. 

Well, that's all it took.  I am ashamed to say that all I could think of was, ironically, "God help me". 

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The first night, no one came. NO ONE.  It was a holiday for the Orthodox Jewish Community, one that does not make a blip on the Hallmark horizon.  The powers that be sighed in frustration, "What did I tell you? Inflexible, religious...." and I began to think, "Wait a minute.  I'm inflexible.  I'm religious.  I should  fit right in with these women."

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And this week, before I taught them, I took a peek at a couple of Orthodox web sites.  This garnered me several email invitations to join "Jewish singles" in my email box.  Since I have been married for 20 years, I could safely delete those.  But I put on a skirt, a top and in a moment of whimsy, my Birkenstocks.  (Look at me! I blend!!) And I prepared the classroom.

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Here they came.  So shy, so very, very scared. So respectful.  Grateful.  Fearful.  Some angry.  All apprehensive.

One in tears, one comforting her.  All explaining to me that they HAD to take this class, but didn't want to.  REALLY didn't want to.  They felt completely out of their comfort zones.  (Turtle on her back, anyone?)

One had had a sadistic speech instructor in high school, who mocked her tears and ridiculed her dress.

Another was not really sure how to actually send an email, but said she would try her hardest.  When I asked about how they felt using the computer for research for their speech topics, some blanched.  The other, more experienced ones reassured the less confident.  "We'll help you", they said to each other.  And then to me, they said, "We've always had to stick together."  Yes, I see that. 

I questioned gently about Powerpoint.  "Anybody ever try it?"  One had, 9 looked blank and then petrified.  "No problem", I assured them.  "We'll go old school, with posterboards, and tri-boards."

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The thing that got to me the most?  When I explained to them that what I would be teaching them would help them AND their children.  That broke them completely down.  "I've never been able to help my son/daughter. They don't think I'm smart enough"  "No mother is.", I sighed in agreement.  "But they'll love learning this..." and I was off, teaching what I know, sharing what I've learned.  I even threw in EasyBib.com to show them how to cite their sources.  Yes, I had to explain "cite" and "sources", but who cares?  They thought I'd shown them the wonders of the world.  "That's so WONDERFUL.", one sighed.  Wonderful?  Easy and convenient, but wonderful?  I guess it depends on your perspective. 

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The night ended, they promised to come back next week and the survivor of the mean teacher in high school?  She gave me a hug as they left.

What to say? It all depends on your perspective.  And, reflecting this morning, from lying on my back like a turtle with nowhere to look but UP, it looks pretty good.   No, it looks wonderful.

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And you know I can't leave this without just one funny comment.  My littlest daughter came to me this morning and asked, in all serious earnestness, "Mama, how was your class last night with the women dentists?"  Oh, my sweet Lord, what have I missed?  Are there dental professionals haplessly wandering around, looking futilely for Public Speaking lessons?  "Dentists?", I asked.  "Yes, don't your lady students straiten teeth?"  "No, honey, they are ORTHODOX, not orthodontists."  CanNOT make this stuff up.  .