Skip to main content

Things we said we'd never do...

...and end right up doing them anyway.

For me, it's Weight Watchers.

Because, really, right down to it, what the heck else am I going to do? Heave this weight around with me for the rest of my natural existance? Ummmm......no. No thank you.

So, off I trot to the website and sign my happy self up for 3 months. A few clicks of the mouse later and ....voila! the heavens open up, and the FLEX point system is revealed!

I have a certain number of points and many of my meals are happily within the range of the points. Then, I realize that the points have to last me the ENTIRE day. This is what we call "the whole picture", the "small print" of the exercise. I do not get to have 20-umpty points for breakfast, lunch AND dinner. Nope. Has to last the whole day.

So, I begin weeding out the undesireables, right into the grateful and astonished mouths of my children. "Here, sweetie, eat the icecream. Yes, I know it's Mommy's favorite flavor, so please eat it right away, before I forget that you are my beloved child and snatch it away from you and devour it myself."

"Darling, you want a cookie? A Girl Scout thin mint? Yes, I know I told you we didn't have any more...(a base and flagrant lie, to hoard them for myself), but look what I found in the freezer, behind the brocolli! Here, have the whole tube! No, Mommy's not crying."

And adding more healthful alternatives...like walking the beast of Black Jack. Yes,it's us at the very hiney crack of dawn, trudging our way through the neighborhood, him furtively piddling and nosing out the news of the day, and me with my ear buds on....inwardly grimly marching to David Bowie's "Modern Love".

I used to love that song.

Pray for me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

People are basically kind.

So, I have/had a goldfish.  He's currently living out his life in an aquarium in the basement of my home. But, he longs for wider areas to roam.  I don't KNOW this as he has not burbled his preference to me, but my son, the fish expert assures me this is so. And, thus, I took to Nextdoor: Below is my entry. TLDR, need pond for goldfish to live. Healthy fish. If you can help, comment or PM me. Y'all. Y'all....I can't make this stuff up. The Goldfish, that you may remember from my previous post is now referred to in capital letters and an honorific, bestowed upon him by me. Sir Fin, of the House Goldfish, is seeking an abode that far, far transcends his practically new 10-gallon aquarium. Do you know of a pond where he may reign? Or, in the way of the circle of life, live out his destiny? He's a good fish, quiet. Very quiet, in a goldfish way. He would not disturb, I would not think. Healthy. Bright, snappy fins. Clear, if vacant eyes. ...
Post a Comment
Read more
  Well, THAT was humbling. I adore it when the Lord puts me in my place. Really.  Like my favorite thing EVER. Because, you know, I just never stray very far from how I know He wants me to act and be.  Right. When the Lord puts me in line, it's more of an "attitude adjustment" along the lines of Extreme Makeover Edition.  I'll be karping along, muttering sullenly and sacrastically about this, that or the other and.... WHOOPS.... **************************************************** The Almighty gifts me with a hard smack right across the back of the head. Yes.  I remember when, a long time ago, I likened wanting to be in the will of God so feverently that I would pray that God would just pick me up if I was on the wrong path, like an errant turtle, put me on the right way and if necessary, place me on my back so the only direction I could look was up to heaven.  Turtle on it's back.  Yes indeed, Lord.  Flip me like a tutle on it's back. I...
1 comment
Read more

Don't eat the toast

Recently, I wrote a status on Facebook.  "Buy the shoes" was the sentiment from the picture.  I added:  "I'm not eating burnt toast, anymore" or words to that effect.  On reflection, I think I'd like to say more. When I was little, I ate toast all. the. time.  Now that I am older, and heavier, toast is a celebration. It's a carb, carefully and judiciously smeared with the tiniest schmear of light butter and savored quietly and slowly with my coffee.  It's often cold long before I'm done, but I dip it into my coffee.  BTW, people are discovering or have discovered the delight of a small amount of butter in coffee.  While you may wince, don't knock it, til you have tried it.  What makes me giggle, is that my daddy did this 50 some years ago.  That man was constantly ahead of his time.  Bless him. Back to toast.  It's so easy, in the early years to eat burnt toast:  you're learning to make toast, you are 6 years old....
1 comment
Read more